My Testimony: Saved by Grace. 

I was saved on February 12, 2005. I’ll never forget that date… (partly because it is my dads and my (late) grandmothers birthday). But, I’ll never forget that day because that was the day that I first heard the gospel and accepted Jesus into my life and heart. 

I was 11 years old and in 6th grade. My sister was the one who invited me to tag along to a youth group that she was invited to by one of her friends from school. 

I’ll never forget that night and the teaching that the youth pastor shared with us… I remember him using the analogy of God carrying us on a very narrow and broken bridge over a river. He expressed how the only way to get across safe was to be carried in God’s arms.

 We couldn’t walk behind God because there’s no way he could see if we were to trip and fall and he wouldn’t be able to catch us in time… there was no way we could walk in front of God because what if we decide to do our own thing and end up falling or tripping? The only way was to let God carry us… 

I remember seeing that narrow and broken bridge as my life and I instantly knew that no matter who I was or who I would become as I grew older, I felt the deep yearning and desperate need for Jesus… in that moment, I emotionally, spiritually, and physically felt my brokenness be repaired as I asked Jesus into my life. 

After that day, my sister and I went to church and a youth group with her friends every week. I became obsessed and in love with the Bible and who Jesus is. I was sold out. 


I let Jesus lead my life for a few years after that day that I got saved… then, high school and my teenage years happened. 

I don’t remember exactly when I walked away from the lord… but I did during my high school years and I lived like I never knew Him… 

I cussed like a sailor, I disobeyed my parents by lying all the time, I drank, smoked weed, I partied, and I lived a life where I thought I had all the answers and knew it all… 

By most of the worlds standards, many would say I was a good student and a nice person all around… (I would think “yeah I might do some stuff but I’ve never killed anyone!)  but deep down, I always felt lost, alone, and like I was never good enough. 

Flash forward to when I was 17 years old and graduated from high school. I enlisted into the army and started my journey in the military. My whole life and who I was changed drastically once I became a soldier. (I say that in a good and amazing way) I loved the army life and knew that I was always meant to do that. 


 As I was in boot camp, I carried a little pocket bible and would read it from time to time. Some days were really bad in boot camp… feeling homesick and getting pushed to your limit physically and mentally all day, everyday… sometimes the only comfort that would help was thinking about God. I still felt far away and didn’t have a desire or actual full on surrender to Him, but just reading certain scriptures and thinking about Him gave me a familiar comfort that helped on my bad days. (I think that was when God was slowly calling me back to him) 

As I came home from training and started my young adult life, the absence of Jesus in my life worsened.

 I went back to drinking and getting drunk… and I hated who i was when I was drunk. I used to push my limits and drink until I would blackout. (Looking back, I don’t see how I NEVER saw the danger in that) 

I started hooking up with guys and chasing and wanting to be with the wrong ones. It was like I was only attracted to guys who wanted to use me and never wanted to actually be with me or treat me right. I was 19 when I lost my virginity to a short term boyfriend. I cringe and my heart breaks when I think about how I never wanted to lose it at that time and to that person. 

I remember my way of thinking at that time in my life… I let myself believe that I enjoyed the random hook ups and different guys. 

I tried to tell myself that it was empowering to do “what I wanted to do” with my body and that I controlled all of  those situations,  so it ultimately made me happy… but deep down, I knew it wasn’t true. 

Throughout my young adult life, I spent so much time trying to do good things and I tried to impress people. I was a workaholic, i went to the gym and hot yoga 6x week and twice a day, and I buried myself in school work.And I did all of this with the wrong intentions. I did it to feel worthy and good enough. I did it to get a pat on the back and to get applause. I did it because I didn’t feel good about myself and I didn’t know how to truly see and find my worth. 

I was so used to living a life that revolved around me and worldly values that I felt numb to anything that related to Jesus. 

I never doubted or denied my belief in God, but I started to believe weird and untrue things about it all… I was a total page ripper (when I decided to read or look at a bible)

I remember saying that I believed in God and a “higher power” but I didn’t believe in religion or everything in the Bible. I was totally lukewarm and only picked parts from Christianity that sounded good.. (like heaven and blessings and miracles) I denied the big picture and what I had known to be true when I was surrendered to the lord. 
My breaking point:

I guess you could say my breaking point was when I had started talking and seeing a guy that I previously dated and really cared about. I wanted a relationship with him and I wanted to be the only one. But of course, that never happened. 

He broke my heart. And after hoping and going back to him time after time, I finally cut him off for good and promised myself to never see or talk to him again. 

 I cut ties with him, and I felt “heartbroken” and sad for probably 2 weeks straight. I would be fine one minute, then cry the next because my emotions were all over the place… then after having cut ties with him, little things started to change… 

I remember telling my friends that I was done partying and getting drunk and that I no longer saw the fun in that. I realized I shouldn’t be smoking weed and running around with guys.

I woke up one morning on an April day and my mood went from sad and mopey to happy, healed, and hopeful… I even remember waking up that morning and even laughing and thinking “this is kinda weird that I feel so different and hopeful!” But it was like I instantly knew that things were looking up… 

I believe this was where God started to pave my way back to him… 

(My heart flutters and I smile just thinking about it all) 

I was working as an intern at a doctors office and the office manager there was a believer and her husband was a pastor… She had a gentle and sweet spirit and was always talking about Jesus to people. I remember listening to the things she would say and it took me back to “my church days”. It was a comfort to talk to her and listen to her speak of Jesus. 

Then, one day I started talking to the cutest old Spanish couple who were patients there. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation started, but they mentioned their church and I blurted out that I just felt like I needed to go back to church and start fellowship again with other believers. They both encouraged me by telling me different scriptures and just explaining that God wants nothing more than for me to go back to Him. 

It all happened without me even thinking about it but when it happened it always felt familiar and just like what I needed. 

God continued his work and  I never fully realized it…

One day I was on Facebook and saw a familiar face on the “people you may know” section. It said he lived in the same town as me and we went to the same high school and he was also in the same branch of the military as me… 

So I added him and he messaged me and the first thing he said to me was that he was saved and was going to a local church and he invited me.. 

I remember thinking “what a coincidence” but nothing is by chance with God… I took him up on his offer about 3 weeks after we connected on facebook and after we started dating, and my first time back at church I surrendered my heart to the lord again.

 I was 20 going on 21 when I decided I was done with my old life and I was ready to really live for the lord. 

It was a tough transition.. to go from worldly and careless to fully surrendered to God as an adult. 

I lost friends (one of my closest friends), I was teased, mocked, and made fun of for my choice to live for The Lord, and I deeply struggled (and still do) with lots of sin that I was so used to before. 

Though it was a tough transition, it was the best time of my life. I felt healed, worthy, enough, and I began to build my relationship with God again. I started to understand him more now as an adult and my life became complete with Him in it. 

I remember gaining weight and only working one job and it was because my worth and acceptance was in Christ and NOT in my appearance or achievements! I felt such a huge burden lifted from me and I felt FREE. 


I’m crying as I look back on my life… I made so many mistakes and am so unworthy, yet Jesus STILL loved me and chose me. He died in my place simply because he loves me and so that I could know Him. 

My life and my mistakes may not be bad or a big deal to the world and some people… but to Gods standards and to the biblical standard, they are. 

And I know there is a sweeter, better, and fuller life for me when I live it for Christ. 

I remember asking one of my friends from church if I was ever even saved at 11 years old… I doubted it because of how far I walked away from the lord after that… he said what makes a saved person is the fact that you return and go back to God. 

My heart and spirit smile knowing that the whole time that I walked away from God, I was still pursued, loved, and chosen by him. 

I am free in Christ, I am saved by his grace. I’m so undeserving and I don’t deserve his mercy, but my heart bursts with joy knowing that I am made in His image and forever loved and complete in Him. 



What’s your testimony?❤️

With Love, 

Olivia💜

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I’m Going Back To My First Love. 

I feel like I’ve fallen…  I feel like I’m not doing what I should do. I feel kind of like a sell out. I kind of feel like I’m just going through the motions… (dramatic, I know) 

But when I first started my blog, my inspiration, motivation, and purpose for it was to glorify Jesus and be obedient to the calling he put on my life. 

And I have yet to only write two (TWO?!) faith based posts. I’m a little ashamed that I think product reviews are more important than writing about the only thing that really matters to me: Jesus.

Of course, it’s okay to write about other things like makeup, wellness, reviews, etc… but I never wanted that to be my main and only focus. And now it seems like that is all I can write about… why?… 

To be honest, the whole blogging world is way different than I expected. (I say this in a good way and a bad way.) 

It’s different than I expected in a good way because it’s so rewarding. When I receive good feedback, I get so encouraged. Being able to connect with others is simply amazing. It’s good because it has been the biggest learning experience that I’ve had in such a long time. It’s good because I feel like I’m in my happy place when I blog. I’m so happy that I finally started my blog. 
Having your blog and making sure you don’t neglect it is hard work. It takes TONS of time, and there’s so much to do and it seems impossible to do it. (Especially when you started your blog from the ground up alone like I did). But its still so rewarding. 

This blogging experience of mine has not been what I had expected in somewhat a negative way because I allowed myself to get caught up in what I think others want to see and read… I got caught up in the excitement and desire to monetize and make money from my blog that I truly forgot what I really enjoy writing about. 

This “fun hobby” where I could write whatever I want whenever I want turned into this pressure filled job where I focused too hard on affiliates and ads and schedules, and lost focus on the whole purpose of my blog. 

I allow myself to get discouraged quickly. When I don’t see the growth I want to see or when I don’t get the reaction that I wanted on a post, it’s easy for me to think “forget it!” 

My energy is pouring into this when it should be pouring into the Lord. 

I’ve read plenty of other blog posts and I’ve read countless posts about “How to grow your blog” or “How to monetize and make more money from your blog”…. but I haven’t really read much of Gods Word. 

I haven’t prayed as much as I’ve spent time on social media. I haven’t dedicated my time to bible study, serving, and sharing the gospel with others. I’ve been selfish about my time and my intentions with this blog. 
Maybe my faith posts are slim to none because my relationship with Jesus feels like it’s slim to none… I’ve distanced myself and haven’t done anything about finding my way back to Him. 
Have you ever gone through such a dry spell in your walk? Have you focused too much time and energy on the wrong things that you don’t realize you are walking further and further away from God? 

I didn’t realize I was walking further away from God until I felt like my life was missing something; I was exhausted, feeling unsatisfied with all things that wrote and did, I was feeling just “bleh”…

My life doesn’t feel like my life if I’m not living it daily for Jesus. My days  really don’t stay filled with joy if I’m not starting my days by getting on my knees to pray. 


I’m tired of the envious and superficial life I have been living lately- wanting to look like and appeal to my friends and readers like so many other bloggers out there. 

Being obsessed with the crisp and clean colored themed feed on Instagram… indulging in how others display their lives… it’s all just a waste of time.

As a “Christian blogger”, I want to attract y’all to Jesus and the Grace that has won my heart and saved my life.. I realize I haven’t been doing that one bit. 

This truth hit me like a brick wall when I was reading Revelation 2… 

“Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.


“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.” ’”

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭2:4-5, 7‬ ‭NKJV‬‬


It is so easy to get caught up in the world when we are being like it daily. It’s easy to fall into worldly traps of trying to impress others and being envious of those who seem to have  it all… getting caught up in all of that is something that I’m ashamed of and want to turn away from. 

But in order to turn away from being like the world, we have to turn to Jesus and fully surrender it all to him… (Romans 12:2) 

Surrender it all to him”… has a nice sound to it… but it’s actually so hard for a sinful and selfish person to do.., (I should know.) 

We say we want to surrender it all to Jesus,… (but let me keep all the things that bring me happiness like my car, house, fancy iPhone and laptop… let me keep the money I make from the job I have…But AFTER all that, I surrender all Lord..) 

👆🏻Does that sound familiar at all? It does for me, because sadly, that is me and the way of thinking that I’ve gotten used to… 

My true desire is to give it all to Jesus and have nothing to hold onto but HIM… and I want to be okay with that. 

I don’t want to stray from faith and christian writing in fear of less views or less approval from readers… we are told to be unashamed of the gospel! (Romans 1:16) 

So I’m here to give it all up to Jesus and go back to my first love which is HIM. I pray that my faith and walk grow from this point on and that all my growth is reflected here on my blog and in my daily life… 

I still plan to write about other things that I care about, but I will never make that a priority over writing about Jesus. 

To start fresh on getting my priorities and purpose straight, my next blog post will be my testimony and how I came to know Christ… so be on the lookout for that! 


Thank you so much to those that continue to read and encourage me! I love y’all so much!! 

Blessings, 

Olivia💜

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